Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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