im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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