Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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