I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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