I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
