The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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