Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
