I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
