one two three fourrrrnication!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
