Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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