It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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