I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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