My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
