He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
