He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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