You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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