Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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