Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
