so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
