I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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