The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
