So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
