He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
