Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Congratulations! We have a period
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
