Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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