there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
