return my video game
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Never underestimate the power of titties
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
