he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You're like the curious george of whores
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drake has all the answers
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
