no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
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Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.