you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.