i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
