I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
