Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
