I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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