i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
