Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
