how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
