I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize