We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
