so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
