I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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