I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize