Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
