he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then my night got REAL pukey
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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