Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
