I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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