Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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