Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
