We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
