Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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