his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
