I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
