Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
