get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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