You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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