Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
