I'm eating all of the evidence.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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