i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
