fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize