haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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