I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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