sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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