i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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