omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
