I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
